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Our seven kids were always jokingly fighting for the mythical title of “Favorite Kid.” Or they would give us a hard time by saying, “Oh the favorite child gets to go with you.”
Even though the jokes were all in good fun, we took it seriously about NOT having a favorite kid. Favoritism really is deadly in family relationships.
That means staying away from the comparison game, too. It’s not good parenting to try to motivate one child by the achievements or good habits of another. The motivation may or may not work in the short-term but it almost always creates identity and self-confidence issues in the long-term.
Each child is unique and different. The best way to motivate each child is to celebrate who they are and inspire them to be their best, not someone else’s best.
It’s crazy that even though we fought hard to not show favoritism we still hear it from our kids. You know how it is. What they joke about always has a kernel of truth to it. I’m so glad someone told us early in our family the dangers of favoritism so we knew to avoid it at all costs.
Let each kid be their own person and you will see them grow in confidence and in their relationship with you.